Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Is my skin tone really *that* much fairer than most others?
Cos I'm getting it a lot these few days. Hmm..
The other day in my General Surgery posting, my tutor was saying that I looked pretty nerdy cos of my hairstyle and (you guessed it), my skin tone, which he attributed -- rather sweepingly -- to a lack of sun-exposure on my part, which then indicated a sedentary lifestyle spent merely on books alone. That's not true.. I jog.. sometimes. At night.
Today, my new tutor (Orthopedics at KTPH) mentioned that I look pretty jiak-kantang. Reason? Skin colour!! I swear, the adage of not judging a book by it's cover is wasted on these people.
Anyway, I had a random encounter at the MRT station on the way back home today. I was just walking to the bus interchange peacefully, when all of a sudden:
Singtel Salesgirl (SS): Hey, let me guess, you use Singtel, don't you?
Me: HELL NO, StarHub rules. /walks off/
Well, I wished I did that, but no. Y'see, the mind thinks of many a good comeback for these kinds of conversations that practically deserve sarcasm only AFTER the encounter has past. Can you imagine if the world paused for a few seconds while you came up with a decent comeback? Sigh.. But anyway, the girl had a really strange approach didn't she? You don't normally start one of those promotion thingys by demanding if the stranger you have before you already uses your services, do you?
In any case, here's what really happened:
SS: Hey, let me guess, you use Singtel, don't you?
Me: Yeah (Okay I admit I lied -- wanted her off my back fast)
SS: Oh, okay. How old are you?
Me: (Is this really necessary?) 21.
SS: Oh, I see.. Anyway, you're really white you know.
See what just happened there? Strike three baby. Right now I'm just sitting here worried that I really am the fairest of them all -.-
Cya around!
the dude
10/18/2011 12:03:00 AM
10/18/2011 12:03:00 AM
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
-- Muhammad Ali
Came across this pretty nice quote and decided to post it.
In other news, I'm at the tail-end portion of my Surgery posting, and I must admit it is far more fun than I thought. Surgery is pretty methodical, so it's pretty easy to get the hang of:
The patient is getting intestinal obstruction? Decompress him.
Is he jaundiced? Find out if he's making too much bilirubin, if he has a liver problem, or if his biliary tract is obstructed.
Road traffic accident? Assess vitals, fluid resuscitation, antibiotics, ...
Not to say that it is anywhere near simplistic of course. You'd be dead wrong to think of surgeons as mere barbarians chopping out things from people the moment they feel that it might help. Even before picking up the knife, a lot of thought, investigations and management are put in place, etc, etc.
But today, I was reminded of why I probably would think twice about going into Surgery. Shima and I stood around in the OT watching op after op, and it got pretty boring after awhile.. Maybe I simply don't know enough to appreciate what's going on, but for now I really don't think I would enjoy picking away and slicing at someone's insides. Not that it's gory or anything -- it is, but that isn't the push-factor. It's more that it's..... monotonous?
Hmm... But I still have quite a few years ahead of me to make my choice, so for now I'll just keep my glasses un-tinted.
ciao
the dude
10/04/2011 10:52:00 PM
10/04/2011 10:52:00 PM
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Sometimes, the content I need to study is really too much, seriously. Cardiovascular pathology covered in two days? Just the day after CA1? Whyohwhy -.- and that was about 3 weeks ago. Since then, we covered Respi, Gastrointestinal, Liver and biliary tract pathology. And drugs, where relevant. Thursday, we're covering yet another body system. In 4 hours of lectures, plus tutorial and practical? zzzzz....
I was really stoning today (need I say why?)... And then i came across a video I watched quite awhile back... Think this is from the show "1 Litre of Tears"..
It's another one of those sad sad medical stories (yes, I have absolutely no life). Well, I watched it again. And still had the same reaction that I had back then.
Sometimes things like these just make you wonder why they fight on. What meaning is there in fighting to see the next day when you know you cant walk without falling? Or when you know you're dead if they take you off the ventilator? What is out there waiting for them that's so great that they want to live on despite losing an arm, a leg, a lung?
I guess for me, the message is fight on. Fight on and know as much as you can. Because somewhere out there, someone wants to fight on, but doesnt have the strength anymore. And somehow if I know enough, I may be able to help them fulfill their dreams. To be cured and lead a normal life? To live on? Maybe somehow, if i finally get skilled enough, I can give hope to those who have none. It is, of course, extremely naive of me to think this way. So many of the diseases today are still incurable, and I'm no researcher so nope, no novel treatments are coming from me.
But you see, patients who fight on make me wanna fight harder too. I know it's supposed to be the other way round, but their hope brings me hope.
the dude
12/02/2010 12:16:00 AM
12/02/2010 12:16:00 AM
Sometimes, the content I need to study is really too much, seriously. Cardiovascular pathology covered in two days? Just the day after CA1? Whyohwhy -.- and that was about 3 weeks ago. Since then, we covered Respi, Gastrointestinal, Liver and biliary tract pathology. And drugs, where relevant. Thursday, we're covering yet another body system. In 4 hours of lectures, plus tutorial and practical? zzzzz....
I was really stoning today (need I say why?)... And then i came across a video I watched quite awhile back...
It's another one of those sad sad medical stories (yes, I have absolutely no life). Well, I watched it again. And still had the same reaction that I had back then.
Sometimes things like these just make you wonder why they fight on. What meaning is there in fighting to see the next day when you know you cant walk without falling? Or when you know you're dead if they take you off the ventilator? What is out there waiting for them that's so great that they want to live on despite losing an arm, a leg, a lung?
I guess for me, the message is fight on. Fight on and know as much as you can. Because somewhere out there, someone wants to fight on, but doesnt have the strength anymore. And somehow if I know enough, I may be able to help them fulfill their dreams. To be cured and lead a normal life? To live on? Maybe somehow, if i finally get skilled enough, I can give hope to those who have none. It is, of course, extremely naive of me to think this way. So many of the diseases today are still incurable, and I'm no researcher so nope, no novel treatments are coming from me.
But you see, patients who fight on make me wanna fight harder too. I know it's supposed to be the other way round, but their hope brings me hope.
the dude
12/02/2010 12:16:00 AM
12/02/2010 12:16:00 AM
Thursday, September 09, 2010
We started lessons in Cancer this week -- its biology, the drugs we can use, the pathogenesis, how it looks like on a person, how it looks under a microscopic slide...
It always seems so scientific and detatched when you're in the classroom, learning how this drug will bind to this oncogene (excessive-cell-division-causing gene, for the uninitiated), and how that will stop the cancer from progressing. Yeah, if its bioavailability is high enough when it reaches the damned thing.
I think we've always thought Ethics was the least useful part of the course (i mean, the sciencey bit is the bit that we're gonna save ppl with right? its not like we're unethical to begin with, and even if some of us were, lessons aren't gonna change that). But fr this particular segment of our course, I really think Ethics shone out the most for me.
After all those endless lectures about wad cancer does, and how to treat it, we finally had to imagine ourselves being the ones treating the patient. I cant share any real examples, but anyway there're far too many stories out there as is, so I won't have to even if I could.
Cancer can happen in anyone. A kid, a grandpa, a young mom with a kid going to to K2 next year.
Can you imagine telling a 40 yr old father that with his Stage 4 lung cancer, his likelihood of living beyond the year is 25% (not real statistics, sry) ? In other words, can you imagine telling him that he'll never see his 2 yr old son getting into pri sch, much less seeing him get married and start his own family some day?
What can you do for a kid who's gonna die from leukaemia, but keeps blaming himself for being sick all the time and making Mommy and Daddy cry?
Our tutor offered us 4 simple steps we can use to advise patients and help them say goodbye:
1. Say thank you -- to everyone who meant sth to you in your life
2. Say sorry -- to everyone who you've offended, intentionally or otherwise
3. Say "I forgive you" -- to your loved ones, in case they think you still blame them for that little something in the past that's now soso dwarved by Death
And lastly,
4. Say "I love you" and that it's forever and ever, even when they cant hear you say it anymore -- because they'll never get to hear it from you ever again.
So here's to the first time I cried while taking notes in a lecture theatre.
It always seems so scientific and detatched when you're in the classroom, learning how this drug will bind to this oncogene (excessive-cell-division-causing gene, for the uninitiated), and how that will stop the cancer from progressing. Yeah, if its bioavailability is high enough when it reaches the damned thing.
I think we've always thought Ethics was the least useful part of the course (i mean, the sciencey bit is the bit that we're gonna save ppl with right? its not like we're unethical to begin with, and even if some of us were, lessons aren't gonna change that). But fr this particular segment of our course, I really think Ethics shone out the most for me.
After all those endless lectures about wad cancer does, and how to treat it, we finally had to imagine ourselves being the ones treating the patient. I cant share any real examples, but anyway there're far too many stories out there as is, so I won't have to even if I could.
Cancer can happen in anyone. A kid, a grandpa, a young mom with a kid going to to K2 next year.
Can you imagine telling a 40 yr old father that with his Stage 4 lung cancer, his likelihood of living beyond the year is 25% (not real statistics, sry) ? In other words, can you imagine telling him that he'll never see his 2 yr old son getting into pri sch, much less seeing him get married and start his own family some day?
What can you do for a kid who's gonna die from leukaemia, but keeps blaming himself for being sick all the time and making Mommy and Daddy cry?
What can you possibly expect a mother to do when she's taking care of 3 kids aged 4, 7 and 12, and just diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer?
Chances are, she's gonna want to live. She KNOWS treatment cant kill off the cancers anymore, only slow them down. But she'll wanna live as long as she damned well can. Thats another problem.. You see, cancer drugs are expensive. And most of them target cell proliferation (this happens even in normal people. It's just excessive in cancers), so they're pretty toxic to norm cells too. Net effect, the family's gonna lose a lot of money, the drugs will only slow down the disease, and even then, there are adverse effects. Horrible, unimaginable pain -- and that's just the treatment.
Some of these drugs can buy you 10 years -- those are the beautiful moments. You're technically cured. Other times, in the aggressive ones, it could be a month, or a few weeks. That's astoundingly little fr the 6-figure price-tag for those drugs.
But when you're that mom, 1 more month is plenty. Afterall, you need to get the will in order. You need to meet your family and friends. You need to try all that food you've loved. You may wanna go with hubby to Paris, just like he promised for that 20th anniversary you're not gonna live to see. And most pressing to a mother: kids. You need to tell them what's important in life. To eat right. To sleep early. Don't talk to strangers. Brush your teeth. Listen to Daddy. Explain why you're going away for a long time and they can't come with you, but they'll understand when they get older.
Yes, any price, any pain, to get things in order as best as you can.Our tutor offered us 4 simple steps we can use to advise patients and help them say goodbye:
1. Say thank you -- to everyone who meant sth to you in your life
2. Say sorry -- to everyone who you've offended, intentionally or otherwise
3. Say "I forgive you" -- to your loved ones, in case they think you still blame them for that little something in the past that's now soso dwarved by Death
And lastly,
4. Say "I love you" and that it's forever and ever, even when they cant hear you say it anymore -- because they'll never get to hear it from you ever again.
So here's to the first time I cried while taking notes in a lecture theatre.
the dude
9/09/2010 11:55:00 PM
9/09/2010 11:55:00 PM
Friday, August 06, 2010
The holidays are, as all good things must, coming to an end.
It is a running joke -- oft a cruel, and painfully realistic one -- that Med students' holiday duration are inversely proportional to how hard they work (it gets tougher as we go along).
It's almost like reaching the top of the tracks of a roller coaster circuit, knowing naught of how the tracks below will twist and turn, but only with the faintest clue that it's gonna be one hell of a ride.
I have reason to be a little worried -- seniors I've talked to have given me recounts of their Med Yr2 experience, and they essentially can be summarized as such:
Everything you've heard about Med School being tough and stressful, and how your head's gonna explode with all that info? It's true. It's just that M1's essentially the honeymoon period. So, welcome to starting to understand what it really is to be in Med Sch =)
But it isnt fear that I approach this year with. Afterall, it is that very same course I was fighting so hard to get into, just a little more than a year ago. And we're finally dealing with disease states and how to cure them (drug-wise, at least)! There'll be lots more clinically releveant stuff too! haha..
In fact, I think -- though I cant be sure it's purely this -- I'm really excited about this year..! Bring on the challenges, the sleepless nights, the weekends so packed with mugging that I wont have time to visit chu or watch tv. Because if triumphing over all that will make me even stronger, to be the best doctor/son/husband/father I can be in the years to come, I'm willing to face it.
(Oh, and God please help me not die from this coming year's workload..... I'm only human for crying out loud)
It is a running joke -- oft a cruel, and painfully realistic one -- that Med students' holiday duration are inversely proportional to how hard they work (it gets tougher as we go along).
It's almost like reaching the top of the tracks of a roller coaster circuit, knowing naught of how the tracks below will twist and turn, but only with the faintest clue that it's gonna be one hell of a ride.
I have reason to be a little worried -- seniors I've talked to have given me recounts of their Med Yr2 experience, and they essentially can be summarized as such:
Everything you've heard about Med School being tough and stressful, and how your head's gonna explode with all that info? It's true. It's just that M1's essentially the honeymoon period. So, welcome to starting to understand what it really is to be in Med Sch =)
But it isnt fear that I approach this year with. Afterall, it is that very same course I was fighting so hard to get into, just a little more than a year ago. And we're finally dealing with disease states and how to cure them (drug-wise, at least)! There'll be lots more clinically releveant stuff too! haha..
In fact, I think -- though I cant be sure it's purely this -- I'm really excited about this year..! Bring on the challenges, the sleepless nights, the weekends so packed with mugging that I wont have time to visit chu or watch tv. Because if triumphing over all that will make me even stronger, to be the best doctor/son/husband/father I can be in the years to come, I'm willing to face it.
(Oh, and God please help me not die from this coming year's workload..... I'm only human for crying out loud)
the dude
8/06/2010 11:13:00 PM
8/06/2010 11:13:00 PM
Friday, June 25, 2010
I'm not one who especially loves poems & such, but I came across one that's pretty good today!
Introducing "If" by Rudyard Kipling!
Shall leave you to interpret the stanzas (if you're really that bored! Haha.. that's to you army dudes out there!), but I guess you could google for some explanation if you're really burning for answers..
Anyway, chu's just gone overseas again! Sniffsniff.. So now I'm here on my fav lil island (Singapore), all by myself with nothing but my medicine books to call friend......... Oh wait. Tht just might be a gd thing! =P Finally! Peace at last! Haha...
But seriously, I think I'll be pretty lonely fr the next few days......
Anyway! Today I sent chu off to the airport. But cos I din want my parents to nag and worry abt how I was gonna be late for the BTT ltr, I told them that her flight was even earlier than it acty was (oops). So there I was, at 8am, standing at White Sands, thinking of how to get past the heavy rain to get to chu's place.
Best of all (funny how "best of all" tends to really mean "worst of all"), I was in slippers. And slippers are so named for a reason -- and no, I don't just mean that they're easy to slip on to your feet.
After a good 10 min of the "Walk-Step on especially slippery part of floor-Steady myself-Swear to wear footwear that was designed with the notion of "grip" in mind in the future-Repeat" repertoire, I (finally) find myself facing chu's door. Then came the trip to the airport, and (too soon), time to dash off to Ubi.
The trip to the driving centre wouldve been rather simple, had it not been for a series of unexpected events. Like how the rain didnt seem to stop, how my train just stayed put on the tracks for over 5 min waiting for another train to pass. Worst was tt I, being unsure of which stop to alight at, got off one stop ahead of the driving centre, and had to jog thru the rain (I had 10 min to get to the test venue) to get there -.- oh, I also met this girl on the way to the driving sch. She didnt bring an umbrella, so I shared mine with her. Nice of me right! I know.. Haha
Anyway, I passed! =D I was so worried I'll fail, and I'd haf to wait forever just to retake the stupid test. The parents're celebrating with me by cooking curry fishhead! haha...
chuchu, if you were here right now, I'd have been spending my time asking you to join us for dinner after your work, cos u'll prolly like this dish..
Be safe over there hon..
Introducing "If" by Rudyard Kipling!
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
Shall leave you to interpret the stanzas (if you're really that bored! Haha.. that's to you army dudes out there!), but I guess you could google for some explanation if you're really burning for answers..
Anyway, chu's just gone overseas again! Sniffsniff.. So now I'm here on my fav lil island (Singapore), all by myself with nothing but my medicine books to call friend......... Oh wait. Tht just might be a gd thing! =P Finally! Peace at last! Haha...
But seriously, I think I'll be pretty lonely fr the next few days......
Anyway! Today I sent chu off to the airport. But cos I din want my parents to nag and worry abt how I was gonna be late for the BTT ltr, I told them that her flight was even earlier than it acty was (oops). So there I was, at 8am, standing at White Sands, thinking of how to get past the heavy rain to get to chu's place.
Best of all (funny how "best of all" tends to really mean "worst of all"), I was in slippers. And slippers are so named for a reason -- and no, I don't just mean that they're easy to slip on to your feet.
After a good 10 min of the "Walk-Step on especially slippery part of floor-Steady myself-Swear to wear footwear that was designed with the notion of "grip" in mind in the future-Repeat" repertoire, I (finally) find myself facing chu's door. Then came the trip to the airport, and (too soon), time to dash off to Ubi.
The trip to the driving centre wouldve been rather simple, had it not been for a series of unexpected events. Like how the rain didnt seem to stop, how my train just stayed put on the tracks for over 5 min waiting for another train to pass. Worst was tt I, being unsure of which stop to alight at, got off one stop ahead of the driving centre, and had to jog thru the rain (I had 10 min to get to the test venue) to get there -.- oh, I also met this girl on the way to the driving sch. She didnt bring an umbrella, so I shared mine with her. Nice of me right! I know.. Haha
Anyway, I passed! =D I was so worried I'll fail, and I'd haf to wait forever just to retake the stupid test. The parents're celebrating with me by cooking curry fishhead! haha...
chuchu, if you were here right now, I'd have been spending my time asking you to join us for dinner after your work, cos u'll prolly like this dish..
Be safe over there hon..
the dude
6/25/2010 07:04:00 PM
6/25/2010 07:04:00 PM
